“A man who has friends must himself be friendly.” Pr 18:24 NKJV
The level of friendship you get is determined by the level of friendship you give. Friendship requires sacrifice, commitment, time, and energy—things we’re reluctant to give. The truth is, many of us are uncomfortable letting people into our lives. We grew up in homes where intimacy was rarely expressed, communication was used as a form of control, and rules were more important than relationships. As a result we’re “relationally impaired.” That doesn’t mean we can’t make friends, it just means we may have a harder time doing it. When it comes to friendship, here are some truths you need to consider: (1) When two relationally impaired people get together they don’t solve each other’s problems, they double them. (2) Those in the fast lane to success may slow down long enough to speak to you in church or at the company picnic, but unless you’ve got something they need or want, don’t expect them to be available to you. (3) When you become less “needy,” you’ll become more attractive to others. As long as you’re looking for someone to solve all your problems and fill the hole in your soul, you’ll drive people away. People have their own struggles and dysfunctions; they’re not looking to take on yours. So what’s the answer? Spend time getting to know God through prayer and reading the Scriptures. Let Him tell you who you are and what you’re worth—something that can happen only when you spend time with Him. As you become spiritually and emotionally whole, you’ll begin to enjoy your own company—and you’ll have more to offer others. by bob gass
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